Panchagani

Yeah so my title is pretty basic this time. I didn't for the first time even for a single moment while writing this post have a thought in my mind that i have to be awesome. Or i have to make sense. Or i have to sound brilliant. The reason being that this post is about my 3 days at Asia Plateau , Panchagani.

So this happened way back in september. My college which i regard both awesome and annoying at the very same moment has a tradition. Every year the first year batch goes to asia plateau in the very first semester to spend 4 days of detoxication. Where from nicotine to mobile phone , from late nights to non veg and pratically everything a “SIMCian” considers essential is prohibitted.

Asia plateu is a training and conference centre that runs character development sessions throughout the year and like many other various organisations conducts pretty much the same drill inorder to help you find your inner peace. So no it was not the training or the sessions that made this trip so special. Now i wont say that the programme was absolutely futile and made no sense to me. It taught me to believe my belief and stick to that belief that every person has a past and the experiences from that very past make him/ her what they are. In personal group sessions people discussed their issues and experiences that made almost each and everyone present there cry. So the programme definitely created some impact on each one’s life.

However coming to the real reason for this trip to be so important and meaningful for me was the Time and Ambience that it provided me.Since the last 3 years i have been living a hectic and monotonous life. I had little time to sing, to smile, to look at the stars and smell the air. This was the perfect opportunity to do all of that. I sang , i walked , i looked everywhere, i saw the stars , i smelt the air and in what seems years i spent the longest hour of my life with myself alone surrounded by wind and trees and flowers. Despite having over 250 people around me i spent the quietest time in years.

On my return i still had issues to deal with and people to answer, i still had no time to rest and lots of things to do , i did not do everything or maybe nothing that i planned when i was there. But the experience lives within me now and forever. The smell of the air and the clear stary night still makes me feel at peace whenever i think about it. And for that i am grateful.

P.S: The experience was an essential part of my life and had to find a place on my blog. The trip was followed by the best two months of my life.

P.P.S : that is the cutest snap from Panchangi. I was as usual extremely sick during my four days there. Thus the horrible hair and the face and the general me. However like always i make pratik look adorable.

*tuned into* like a rolling stone - Bob dylan.

And the Moral of the Story Is…..

After so many years of believing that Women are the ones who always compromise , Band Baja Baraat changed my belief.(oh yes I watched the film for the first time today after more than a year of its release)

Now i know that 99% of the people did believe that this film is a Rom-Com and that he loved her and thus didn’t let her go and get married to someone else and she loved him back and thus chose him over the other “corrrrrect” guy. But that’s considering that 99% of our public our emotional fools.

No, seriously the entire second part of the film screams out and tells us that this is more of a “How-To-Save-A-Failing-Business” film rather than a romantic comedy. And the end is about how and why men are better at business than women (who are so fucking stupid and emotional) but of course people don’t understand that.

So now you know the real purpose of the film.

Note: I am pretty jobless. and this is the outcome of being jobless. But in my defense at least i am writing..

P.s: I Love the film. I love the colors. I love the songs. I love the larger theme and the “Moral” of the story too.

P.p.s: Ranvir Singh is so fucking hot and imperfect (oh I have a thing for imperfect guys)! *eyelashes*

When Life surprises you at every step...

Yeah it’s been a while. Or is it wrong to say “a while”. It’s been a long long long time. For someone like me who thought writing was therapeutic and couldn't do without it I have been off the blogosphere for more than 2 months now.

And no I was not exactly whiling away my time. I was experiencing the most astonishing 6 months of my life. ‘A year and life is unbelievable different’ is what my status update read a few days back on facebook. But exactly a year back life ran pretty parallel to now. A lot of similar things were happening only I wasn’t as dumbstruck by it then as I am now.

My decision to shift to Pune has probably been my life's both worst and best decisions at the same time. And I love how I can never figure out which one of it, it really is. Life is absolutely messy right now; it is surprising me a little too much. I feel almost trippy which obviously makes me feel great.

So my first term at SIMC has come to an end and I am back home for my internship and have plenty of time to think. The last one month back in Pune was ultra awesome and now I am having a hard time being back home and coming to terms with the fact that I have to be here and do this for the next one month or more.

I have experienced so much in the last 6 months. They have been truly amazing. Made some great friends. Strengthened some old friendships. Lost a few people. Got a few back. Learnt more history. Found out more about literature. Watched more movies. Read more books. Got tones of nicotine into my blood and gave up on it eventually. Missed a lot of lectures. Met with a really scary accident. Hurt myself pretty bad. Regretted a lot. Loved a lot. And had a lot of fun really.

So now that I am back I hope to post my experiences from the last 6 months on my blog one by one.

And soon.

Wish me luck.

P.S: Cold Play is going to be in Dubai next month and I can’t see any ray of hope of me being there at that time. *sob sob*

P.P.S: Pune is my second favorite city right now.

*tuned into* Paradise- Coldplay

Making no real point-on love,relationships and romance!

So agreed a huge part of me is a chick flick person, my most favorite films are the romantic ones. i love , love stories. even the one's as dumb as i hate love stories.

of course i am a full time romantic always looking around for love.

but relationships , well they FREAK me out.

why? because i believe in love!

and relationship's never much match up to those standards. which is where my love and in love theory comes into being.

so the theory states "you may love lots of people in your lifetime , but you fall "in" love with just one"

deep huh?

yeah it is. i have learnt this after being in more than 5 full time relationships(it is quite like i a job) and many more complicated one's which i never even wanted to start!

no i am definitely not bragging, i wish i had one really really really meaningful one instead. (or maybe not , considering how much each relationship has taught me)

"something meaningful existed in all of these relationship's, so what was missing?"

is the thought from where this entire post came into existence!

after a lot of thought i came to no conclusion or no definite answer, but yeah i did get a rough idea, the issue was not about what was lagging, it was about how i never really fell in love.

people come to us. they become important , we think we can't live without them , we imagine ourselves with them and after sometime they are no more that important. we no more need them. someone else takes their place. and life moves on.

we miss them , smile when we think about them,maybe a tear or two, feel jealous of the person who is with them now, but we never want to go back to it (atleast i have never wanted to go back to anyone of them)

vaishnavi always tells me how i am being a bitch and cant decide on that one person , but its not what i cant do , its what i don't want to do.

i don't want to bet i am going to spend the rest of my life with anyone i am with right now. because i am not in love with anyone.

no one makes me feel on top of the world irrespective of what they do for me, no one makes the wind blow and no one rings bells (though a lot of butterflies have made a permanent place in my stomach and start to fly frantically at the sight of a lot many guys) , no one makes me wish for them when i pray, no one kisses me to make my leg toss up , no one knows without me telling and etc etc.

maybe the issue is that i take love stories too seriously,but i believe that i will find a person(or more than one) who will make me feel like that.

not that i regret being with anyone i have , but i have definitely understood that now or not even in the near future is love going to come knocking my door. i am not prepared for it , and i cant imagine losing it!

P.S but what i do look forward to is a good long vacation, which i doubt is going to be possible in the next three years of SIMC. however we are going to panchagani for a week from college , sounds interesting huh?! Not really..

Late Night Heroes!

When the nights are darker than usual and lonier that ever, there are some people who stay awake just for you. You have the most random discussions; share the most intimate moments and the cutest confessions at this hour. The night brings out the best in people.

This post is for all my late night heroes!

Dushyanth- first love!

Of course you’re my first late night buddy. Remember we waited for you to be in Bombay so we could activate the night calling scheme to talk all night? It was our favorite music in the background and long discussions that made nights the most awesome time for me!

Prateek-giggles!

You are the reason I am an owl. The habit of staying awake and talking till dawn started because of you and continued and will continue forever I guess.You are awesome at keeping me entertained and you’re possibly one of the few people I never ever get bored with.

Nandini-Growing!

I can have the most random serious discussions with you. Sex, relationships, society, social issues, guys! All of that can happen only with you.

Rohan-friendship!

You stay awake for me when no one else does. Absolutely boring me to death and educating me about the different late night munchies but being there in my most lonely times telling me it will be good. You make me comfortable like no one else can.

Pratik-fucked up! (in the not-so-bad-way)

We have never had many late night “discussions” (until recently of course), they are more of fights. But it’s the end that makes those times special. The end where everything is okay. Where you stay by my side. Where you tell me its okay.

Priyanka- partner!

If I am depressed in the night and I have no one there, I have not spoken to you in ages, I will still call you because well, you’re my fellow owl. Probably the only one awake that late in the night. And I know you will listen, not only because you don’t have a choice but also because you are always there when I need you.

Harsh-unquestionable love! ( from his side , because he is awesome! )

I know I am more of the ditcher with you. But this is my post. So no bad things about me. The point is I know you will be there. And you are there. And I love you. And I am going to marry you someday because you are awesome! (Embarrassed?)

Ritu- comfort!

You’re my roommate so you have no option but to sit and here. Its so adorable when I am upset and you look at me and you know and you come sit on my bed in the most annoying way and ask me “kya hua? “ and the first thing I do (the most predictable one) I start crying and you hug me and we sit talking there for hours. Ahhh… what would I do if I didn’t have you?

Juhi-understanding!

Maaannn you’re just there. You’re awesome. You don’t judge me. You tell me I am being a bitch when I am being a bitch and tell me I am right when I am right. You’re probably the most honest friend and one of the most important people to me.

Jai-bonding!

The amount I have spoken to you at night is like I never ever have. The things, the smiles, the moments, the feelings we have shared together are THE most memorable and special one’s ever!

And etc. etc.

There have been so many who have come and gone. Nights have brought some of the most memorable memories with them for me.

Writing this makes me realize how many of you’ll I have right now.* Touch wood *. And how I would never want to lose any one of you’ll. Just be as awesome as now. Tolerate me like you always have. And this love will continue. Always!

p.s: the names are not in line of preference but are arranged in a way my heart travels! (philosophical eh? )

And Still.....

I still hold a plate in my hand when I eat Choco bar like I did when I was 4!

I still run like a duck and trip and fall and twist my ankle a gazillion times when I walk.

I still hate eating bananas

I still have Maggie and khichadi with ketchup

I still cry whenever I can

I still have severe shoe bites when I wear any footwear the first time.

I still think Raj, Rahul, Dev, Etc are real.

I still love watching movies - first day first show.

My dad’s stomach is still the best place to lie down on.

My mom is still the first person to come to my mind when I want something.

I am still as protective (or much more) about my brother like I was when he was 2.

I still love the first guy who gave me butterflies in my stomach (and he still does)

I still stalk my first boy friend

I still don’t know how to cut my nails.

I still apply Vicks on my leg when they hurt.

My mum is still the only person who can actually put me off to sleep.

My grandmother’s are still the strongest women I have known.

Jhama is still the only place that makes “good” mithai according to me.

Chembur is still the place that has all the possible things I want.

Marine drive is still the place that has all the answers.

Rains are still the most beautiful time of the year.

I still wish to leave the house only after my mum kisses me on my forehead.

My dad is still the luckiest person to be with.

There are so many things about me that have been with me since childhood. I have grown up. I have changed. I know much more than what I did. I have too many sides to me. I have opinions. I fight, I argue and I DON’T listen. But I am still the 5 year old Diu who couldn’t do a thing without her mum, I am the same girl who loved holding her brother’s hand throughout the day and I am the same inquisitive, imaginative little girl who’s day need on her dad’s stomach.

Its funny how everything in my life kept changing and I still always remained the same dreamy , stubborn , curious , over dramatic divya!

P.s: Thank you Ma, Pa and Patu for being more than a family. Thank you for being my bestest friends. Thank you for my childhood. Thank you for the Habits that make me who I am! Today when I am away from you’ll it just makes me realize that wherever I go, whatever I am, you complete me!

Writer's Block- when my imaginary friends don't talk to me!

For the last Six Months apart from blogging, I have been working on various stories. After writing over 25 disjointed scenes and conceptualizing around 4 stories I am suffering since the past one and a half month from something known as the "Writer's Block".

My stories are incomplete, my blog is inactive and I am almost suicidal.I absolutely blame this on my new "extraordinary" lifestyle of course.Give me my ideas back dammit!

P.s: I can’t believe I could write even this much! I shall probably treat myself to an ice cream. *temporarily cheerful*

P.p.s: my blog is so colorful!