Resolution 2012!

“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them”.

I felt cryptically bitter and dull when I walked into my room a lot many hours back. I knew it was one of those typical days when I was PMS-ing out of turn. So considering it was just a girl thing and it will pass, I tried to fall asleep. And just when I was about to hit my REM my warden called for me and I have been up since the last five hours. Its 4 in the morning and unlike “normal” people I am wide awake listening to depressing music and eating my third bornville bar in the last 24 hours. I have no particular reason for this sudden bout of depression.I am alone in my room and at peace. It’s a good thing right now (though I am majorly bored and I could do with some company) because I don’t have to pretend I am fine when I am not.

I had nothing to do so I did what I love doing-read. I read a few blogs here and there where people spoke about how great their new years had been, or how high their hopes fly in this new year, how they made the year special for their girlfriend etc. However more commonly people by the end of the first week have come to the clichéd point where they indulge in the most pointless argument- the nature of New Year resolution or their yet another attempt at giving New Year resolutions a chance.

See 3 years back I made a new years resolution to never make a new years resolution. But now since I have stopped depending on people for the push, I thought I need to do the task myself even if it’s hidden under the excuse of a “new year resolution”. So yeah I have a resolution- to sail through this without looking back. Now honestly neither do I know what I have to sail through (except for degree college…*painful*) and neither am I sure what I keep looking for every time I turn around.I had some sort of epiphany that resulted in this thought. I have absolutely lost the ability to comprehend and bother. I am finally taking it as it comes. And precisely for this to live a little longer I know I have to keep telling myself that I need to sail through this and not look back.

So here I sit, wrapped up in my quilt, giving New Year resolutions (that are more often than not disappointing) yet another chance.

And as I float around in the realm of abstruse like always, I hope all you people out there are getting some good sleep.

P.s I miss someone tonight. Someone I haven’t missed in sometime now. This post is dedicated to that someone in all obscurity.

P.p.s I have had a crazy few days since I returned back to Pune. I am looking forward to some not-so-stoned days. *Sigh*

*tuned into* Half of my heart - John Mayer

And the day has just begun! (part 2)

It’s the last day of the year (yet again) and I sit sipping my cup of morning tea. I have had a month and a half to introspect and think, so I currently sit clear in the head and kind of sure about what I want to do hence. I have no clue what i am going to be doing tonight or for that matter in an hour but spontaneous is fun i have learnt!
I return back to Pune in 2 days and won’t be seeing the face of Bombay for another 4 months or more. Now I am highly jubilant about going back to my routine life but somewhere I feel slight despair in my heart. I shall miss a lot about Bombay.

I have had a legendary year as I have mentioned over and over again. And I look forward to yet another fresh year and the opportunity to marvel at life all over again.

So to whoever is listening, Happy New Year!

Use it well. And Live it with all your heart.

p.s refer to http://mindhearshearttalks.blogspot.com/2010/12/cause-new-years-day-is-every-mans.html for guidelines to a happy new year..

*tuned into* Sitting on the dock bay

A Winter Romance!

Winter romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done , they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens , fleeting glimpse of eternity and in a flash they’re gone.

They had been walking for over 20 minutes now. She kept looking at him. They hadn’t gone through the usual drill. He was such an impatient thing. He couldn’t walk ten minutes without knowing where they were heading to. But today he didn’t seem to be bothered. She thought that was weird. Usually his mind worked on two different levels simultaneously. He kept juggling between the two. Suddenly when she talked to him, she had known he had been somewhere on the other level. But tonight as they walked through the dark avenue road, she felt his presence unlike never before. He was there. Right there with her.

The road ahead was dark, long and infinite from where she looked. The noise around them was tuned to suit the mood, or was she imagining it? She looked around. She realized, their journey had started right there, it had been 6 days since they had first walked together along the very same road. She smiled to herself and turned to look at him as he continued speaking about how awesome it was to have a dog; something he knew made her extremely envious.

They knew more about each other now than they had imagined they would when their eyes met for the first time. They had walked along the beach, they had laughed together, they had shared some really awful food, they had lied down next to each other with her favorite music playing in the background, and they had looked into each other’s eyes. Yes they had done it all, in no time.

She wanted to walk slowly. She wanted this moment to last. Especially because she knew how distant the possibility of him being this near was.

No she was not in love. She was just fascinated by him and enjoyed how much he was smitten by her. It was an entirely different feeling. They were both apprehensive about love at the moment. They had been through it and it hurt. A lot.

Nevertheless when she was with him, she wasn’t afraid of falling in love; she knew she could take that chance and trust herself for once to not mess it up. To believe that this week long courtship was all that this was going to be. Just a sweet memory.  

She knew this was more than mere infatuation. This was two individuals connecting on a level above all that, discovering each other in a way they never had before. She wanted to keep it that way. Tonight was the last night she was going to be with him. He would leave the next morning only to find her gone when he came back.

They walked some more. Talked some more. And as time passed by she started to become more and more curious. Finally she couldn’t help but ask him, “We’ve been walking for over 20 minutes, don’t you want to know where we are going”… he didn’t reply, she waited for him to say something. Now that was a first, what happened to the guy who was jabbering away endlessly 10 seconds back? He looked down and then straight and after what seemed like a long time, without looking at her said, “That’s because I don’t want you to go”...

What followed was interminable blushing, smiling and eyes meeting. She held his hand as he couldn't stop blushing and pulled him close to give him a quick peck on his cheeks.


It was an open end of something beautiful. Something they both were never going to forget. Something that had just began.

It was time to say goodbye until they were ready to make this "Winter Romance" anything more than what it was. Until they shared a moment in the Mumbai Rain!

*tuned into* Matt Nathanson- Run

See my baby just grew up!

(from this to that)

For no particular and meaningful reason my blog went through some major makeover today. The only good enough reason for it would be that I was in real need of change and some more light as oppose to earlier!  I am this phase person and when the channel changes so does the mood, no?

So yeah that’s my new look.My old blog only with a new name and a new take on things.
So for me today my "baby" grew up , it doesn't matter if it turned out to be a sweet apple or a rotten rag it just did!

P.s:

Dear 2012,

I am welcoming you with open arms, and this is just the beginning. Show me what you’ve got!

*tuned into* i want you , i need you , i love you - elvis presley.

Because It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air!!

They say if Christmas is not found in our heart it won’t be found under a tree. The reason for Christmas being my most favorite holiday is that every year something not less than legendary happens exactly around the same time. There is often a lot of anticipation around this time as I wait for the Christmas magic. But this year Christmas was more than just anticipating for magic. It was about living it with those who are the reason for the belief in magic.

I spent Christmas Eve with my girls this year. A crazy night dancing on the most random songs and laughing at everything and anything the other one said. Followed by a streaking (lets not get into the details) morning! Now the thing about these girls is that they are my school friends. They have seen me grow up and be weird all throughout my adolescent. I have gone through some really "what the fuck" phases and have acted completely embarrassing. They have left me at a lot of places but just to come back, hug me and tell me that they are there. These are those people with whom my laughter has made friends with. It just comes with their presence.

No inhibitions, no pretence and no correctness is required around these crazy Girls. Even though each and every one of us is so different from the rest, life seems so much simpler around them.

To my oldest friends...

Love and much love for making this Christmas a happy one!

For the message of Christmas is that you're never alone- Taylor Caldwell.

p.s I won’t dance - Frank Sinatra.

To 30 years of friendship!

My parents complete 22 years of marriage today(and almost 30 years of knowing each other). As I get out of my bed and look at my dad working on his computer and Mum rather unusually still in bed at this hour, I walk to my balcony with my book and begin to read. When a thought crosses my mind. More like images. I begin to remember their relationship from what I remember. My dad’s erratic mood swings, my mum’s constant nagging. My dad’s insouciant attitude, my mum’s irresolute behavior. My dad’s inexpressive face, my mum’s loving eyes. And I can’t keep reading anymore. I look out and wonder what made them fall in love and stay in love for over 30 years. My parents have a rather cute story. A story that has so much to tell. A story that is so filmy you wont believe it even happened in real.

I am amazed at how much they have gone through to be with each other. I am in awe of them right now even though there have been moments when I couldn’t stop cribbing about how horribly different they are.

So to my parents and their FRIENDSHIP!

Happy Anniversary Ma and Pa!

Love and more love!

p.s with respect to the picture , didn't i mention my parents have a story you wont believe..:)

*tuned into* A Thousand Years.

Lying awake!

She sat on the edge. The very edge. On an ordinary day that would be a scary feeling. But today she didn’t seem to even realize that, a slight shift and she could be falling down from her 2nd floor balcony landing straight on her cranky neighbor’s old Maruti Zen. It was ten past five in the morning when she looked at the clock. It had been nearly 5 hours she since saw the clock last. What had she been doing all this while? She couldn’t recall. Was she really going to take this decision, she thought. Now it was too late to change it anyway. It was all too confusing for her. She wasn’t really sure about anyone anymore. She wasn’t sure about herself to start with. In a few more hours her dad would be up for his morning walk. Seeing her out of bed at this time of the hour would invite unnecessary attention. “I should go back to bed”, she thought aloud. Her ears almost hurt, now that the long silence had been broken. She heard her brother shifting in his bed. She couldn’t see. It was dark still. She didn’t care about lighting up the room. It wouldn’t make a difference. She hit the bed and lay there for a long time.

The year had been eventful. No! Saying that wouldn’t do justice. It had been extravagant. So much had come and gone. Not that life had ever been boring earlier really, it had always been a mess and fun and some more mess. But this year was going down in the books. It had to. Or wait, this year wasn’t a chapter; it was like those little complimentary books along with the main book, always more colorful and interesting but small and quick. This thought made her smile. She thought about the year in a quick fashion. Images!

20 days away from new years and she knew it was time to shut the book and never open it again. The time to keep this little piece away was here. It was time to go back to the purpose, go back to THE book.

Something was happening now. She lay straight, she turned left, and she turned right. Something was wrong. She wouldn’t dare open her eyes. Was she imagining it or was it real? She shut her eyes tight. She felt like a 2 year old. She wanted to run to her mom. Something was going to strangle her, she had to get up. It was going to hurt her. Now!

Wait it was too late. She was squeezed under it already. She lay there. What was this burden laying so comfortably over her? It wasn’t painful; it was just making it difficult for her to breathe. She wanted to get up. But strength and will both were insufficient. This was unnatural but surprisingly she was getting used to the predicament faster than she thought.

After what seemed like ages she thought she felt like she was ready to sleep under all this. At least tonight. At least for the next 20 days. Being uncomfortable and sleepless would have to last for some more time. She was going to let it hurt till a few more days. And then with the New Year she is going back to her story. She had sidetracked but she won’t do it again, she was sure. But for now the discomfort was too sweet. She had almost got friendly with it within minutes.

She turned around, pulled the sheets over her, yawned and wished that tonight disturbing dreams would not haunt her. Tomorrow morning would start the last chapter of this Year.

P.s So much for a first attempt!

*tuned into- almost lover