Wednesday, May 16, 2012

If I ever tried explaining to my parents

Chris McCandless said “In reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future”, the depth and complexity of this simple truth astonishes me today to an extent that I question every single decision I have made for my future until now. People around me often discuss what they want from life and what they want to give back to life with such confidence, it startles me.
I am walking on a road clueless about my destination. I climb onto a train of emotions and experiences. Thankful to have no indication of what lies ahead. What makes life’s experience meaningful for me is discovering each day that every truth from childhood and every single fact taught to me is a lie. That life is more complicated than how it was shown to me and more fundamental than how you see it.
Everyone is running in race for survival. But losing somewhere in that race the reason for existence. I am philosophical. I like it that way. I am not going to be running behind a career and creating a niche for me. I want to soar higher and see it all. I am not ready to settle down. I may never be. I know you’d rather see me have a well-set career and a seven-digit pay cheque, but I see myself exploring. Seeing what has never been seen and being somewhere no one has ever been is all I see myself doing. I am not one to conform. I’d rather make my own rules. I am not one to find the right guy and marry him. (I know that’s the last thing you want me to do either) I don’t want a family to answer to. I am not responsible enough for anyone else, I may never be.
I want to be lost and wander. I want to know why men want to win a war that they never had to fight to begin with. I want to be away from all this insanity. And be somewhere I can hear the winds whisper to me the tales of the lands separated by time. I don’t want the obligation to interact with humans. I don’t want to be part of the cacophony that civilization today lives amidst. I have no regard for the false materialistic belongings. I’d rather spend hours lying down in a field soaking within me the essence of reality in its wholesome form.
It is puzzling for you to know when exactly did life become so poetic for your little girl? Well it was somewhere around that time when I was being torn apart by realism and fantasy.
I hope you understand now that I am not going to be shut inside a cocoon leading a well-designed life; I hope you know why my Utopian nature suits my ever-impenetrable mind. And I hope you know that one fine day when the sun rises slowly over the horizon and the weather is just correct, when the winds blow swiftly brushing away all the prudence I am going to set out on a journey and walk INTO THE WILD…