Sunday, February 27, 2011

And All Of A Sudden....

All of a sudden I want to eat strawberry cheesecake/fresh cream/punch lying down on my bed.

All of a sudden I want it to rain.

All of a sudden I want to watch the how I met your mother series from season 1 all over again.

All of a sudden I feel like singing with someone insanely and so loudly that my vocal chords don’t function for a week after that.

All of a sudden I want to cook for someone.

All of a sudden i want to start writing poems again.

All of a sudden I want to go to all those places where I grew up. Even school.

(Ummm... I have lived In 8 different houses in the last 18 years and each and every house has made me who I am. I get attached to places even faster than I get attached to people.)

All of a sudden I want to sit at bandstand/marine drive/carters and talk to water.

All of a sudden I want to dress up like I never have before and have the most amazing evening of my life.

All of a sudden I want to cuddle my brother till he doesn’t slap me. Or maybe even after that.

All of a sudden I want to be with people I have lost in the last 4 years. And tell them how much I miss them.

All of a sudden I want to see that one most important person (among the really small number people who really matter to me) in my life smile like she never has.

All of a sudden I don’t want to crib about how imperfect and unplanned my life is.

All of a sudden I want to call something “mine”.

All of a sudden I want to fall madly and freaking passionately in love with someone for a while!

and All of a sudden I wish all this comes true and I have the most perfect day of my life.

*tuned into* blowing in the wind – bob dylan

Saturday, February 26, 2011

10 random things.......

Some random , some not-so-random things i wish i could have right right right now.

10. Black stockings, a hot clutch, boots of every color….and so much more here..:S

9. Driving lessons: I just realized I have totally forgotten how to drive! :S

8. A huge piano: I feel the music in me.

7. An Irish boy friend: Scottish and Italians are welcome as well :P

6. Lots of stationery: I feel like scribbling, stapling, punching, drawing, filing.

5. A vacation: alone or with just a few quiet friends who don’t wish to spend the holidays getting sloshed.

4. Lots and lots and lots of books: reading is the solution to all problems.

3. A pet: A white lion cub or a brown horse or at least a dog.

2. Coffee: Yeah I am no more a tea person. Or maybe I am just having a coffee phase.

1. A Samsung galaxy tab: it’s hot!

Monday, February 21, 2011

a roller coaster ride - life!

Funfair!! :D

I love them. Sometimes I go to the nearby annual fair just to observe things. To get lost in between the crowd. To look at the colorful and happy people present day. To relive my childhood. Sometimes I treat myself with some candy floss and on the other days I just walk around the huge arena aimlessly.So spend a day at the funfair and stand by the roller coaster, and notice the people get in and out. You will notice that most people get on it in search of excitement, but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop.What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldn’t they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot?

At the moment, I’m far too lonely to think about love, but I have to believe that it will happen, that I will find the right thing to do and that I am here because I chose this fate. The roller coaster is my life; life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it’s taking chances, falling over and getting up again; its mountaineering; it's wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don’t manage it.

It isn’t easy realizing what you are doing is not what you want to, that you will never find love, that people will just come and go out of life, that you don’t have anyone to fall back on because no one knows what you want and why you do certain things, that you have to go up there all by yourself, that life is a long journey that you have just started , that a lot of people hate you, but from now on, whenever I feel depressed, I will remember the funfair.

If I had fallen asleep and suddenly woken up on a roller coaster, what would I feel? Well, I would feel trapped and sick, terrified and every bend, wanting to get off. However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that someone else (maybe god) is in charge of the machine, and then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.

-an extract from eleven minutes modified to explain what I feel.

*tuned into* one last breathe - creed

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


i have been lazy and ignorant for a long time. but now that things are falling into place And i am finally moving and starting to get things done , i have decided to go back to music. i start from next week and i am awfully delighted about it. as i get my old keyboard out from my attic i feel just like the old dusty and almost dead keyboard which is going to come back to life in no time ofcourse.i am extremely excited and i feel perfect right now. like nothing could be better.

pfffttt.. i love music..!!

*tuned into* no such thing - john mayer

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

the red lipstick that inspires...

I'm trying to find myself as a person, sometimes that's not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do.
-Marilyn Monroe

i dedicate this post to marilyn monroe for a reason that i dont think anyone is smart enough to understand so i am not going to mention.

p.s: i have been away for Soo long even though i have been posting some creative writing assignments on my blog i feel like i haven't written like forever.and i really don't have time to crib right now. but i am going to come back with a lot soon.

p.p.s:i have just been inspired by somebody whose name i am going to withheld because i have a big ego and i don't believe in making anyone feel special unnecessarily.anyway so i hope to make more sense when i write here after.or at least i am going to try.

more on so much more later.

*tuned into* never too late - three days grace

and it is that simple..!!

Life is tough, that’s a given. When you stand up, you’re gonna be shoved back down. When you’re down, you’re gonna be stepped on. It’s no secret, you’ll fall down, you stumble, you get pushed, you land square on my face. And every time that happens, you get back on your feet. You get up just as fast as you can, no matter how many times you need to do it. Remember this, success has been and continues to be defined as getting up one more time than you’ve been knocked down. nothing is free and living ain’t easy. Life is hard, real hard, incredibly hard. You fail more often than you win, nobody is handing you anything. It’s up to you to puff up your chest, stretch your neck and overcome all that is difficult, the nasty, the mean, the unfair. You want more than what you’ve now, prove it! You want beat the very best out there that is, get out there and earn it! Once you decide that, you’ll know where it is you want to be, then you won’t stop pushing forward until you get there! That’s how winners are made. At the end of the day, success is what we all want. We all wanna win, and the race will be won. There is no question about that. So c’mon, get out on top, run faster, dream bigger, live better than you ever have before. This is in you. You can do this. Do it for yourself. Prove it to yourself.

from the internet.

*tuned into* dancing in the dark-bruce springsteen

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

seven minutes...

There were a thousand thoughts that came to my mind as I ran towards my train at dadar station. It was ten past eight and I was late. I had to get into that train. But I had to get into the last ladies compartment only. It was a ritual. A reasonless one.

Rohan who had come to drop me till the station because its general tendency for my friends to think I am too hyper to handle myself was lost somewhere in the mayhem you never miss at the dadar station. “I’m late” I told myself again. I had promised my brother who had his school farewell in two days that I would take him shopping. But I was late. I had too much to do. I tend to take more than what I can handle. The week was going to be tiring. I was making a mental note of all that I had to finish by the end of the week. It was exhausting was still running. Where had I reached? I couldn’t really figure anything out in the crowd. I was just pushing and moving ahead.

Pheww... I could have just missed it I thought as I got into the train.oh I had almost forgotten about rohan.i peeped out to look for him. I saw him. Pushing his way through. I told him I have got in and waved him bye. The train thankfully was not that crowded.. Or maybe it was just this specific compartment which was always so much better than the others.

I sipped water from my bottle as I pulled out the ear phones from my bag. “Is the train moving?”I asked myself. I was so drained. I felt silly as I looked at the platform indicator. The train wouldn’t leave for another 7 minutes. There was really no need for me to run.

I didn’t find a place to sit so I just stood at the foot board. It’s always quieter on this side of the platform. And a little cleaner too. Maybe that’s why I liked walking (running most of the time) to get into this particular compartment.i looked down at the platform. There were people waiting for the train to leave. Talking on the phone. Buying things to eat. It was that time of the night when the mumbaikars return back to their far from the city homes or atleast those were the kind of people you saw on platform number 1 of dadar station where trains take you to the extremes of the city. It’s a long journey for most of them.i am just two stations away from home. But I was clearly panicking.

Nothing really caught my attention for a long time. And then I saw him. I wouldn’t say he was the handsomest guy I had ever seen. Or that he was wearing the perfect clothes. Or that he had the perfect smile and hair. Or that he was six feet tall. Because he was not. He was just a little kid. A two year old. Or maybe even smaller.

Now I am not one of those who are very good with kids. I don’t have the very cuddly feeling about them.

So I don’t know what made me so inquisitive about this one. Initially I just noticed him and looked away but something made me look at him again. He wore a midnight blue t-shirt that fitted him well and a little underwear. It was chilly. I wondered how he was feeling. Could he even talk? I could see his parents sitting a little away from him down on the platoform.i couldn’t judge what they were discussing. But they were clearly ignoring the kid. What if he ran towards the train when it started I thought? Weren’t they bothered? What if he hurts himself? He was so tiny. Just as I kept looking at him his mother came ahead and lifted him up. Not in a very desirable way though. But he was still smiling, laughing maybe. I think he liked the attention he was getting. She gave him a biscuit and started talking to the father again. And the little one started one of his new operations. He was an inquisitive kid and that was evident. Or maybe all kids are and I just don’t notice. The train had 3 minutes to leave. I wondered if they were going to get in at all. The parents were having some really intense talk. They were fighting maybe. I thought it was really silly of me to look like that but something kept making me look. The tiny thing was having the time of his life. He looked around. Smiled at anything and everything and anyone. Chewed on to some part of the biscuit and went all around the little area he could cover with his tiny feet. He kept tripping every now and then. He fell everytime he tried to take big steps. Everytime he fell he looked back at his mother. She would give him a look that I am sure only he understood because he got up everytime and started walking and looking for something again. He was definitely looking for something.i wish I could read his mind at this point of time.

I could guess that he particularly found the bhel puri woman very interesting. He kept looking at her and then his mother. Maybe he was trying to tell her that he wants to eat it. The mother and father were really not paying attention.

The train would leave any minute. I wanted to see him do some more “work”. Looking at him made me happy for some reason. I was smiling. The train had started moving slowly. I hadn’t even noticed.i was busy looking at him. And just as the train started moving he looked at me. Like he had known what I was thinking. Like he knew how I had been observing him for the last six minutes. He looked at me and first I thought he was not really happy. Like I had seen him do something he dint want me to.

But just before I was about to lose sight of him he burst out with a smile on his face. The reason of which I could not decipher. The train had started moving faster. I kept looking out. Till I dint completely lose sight.

I dint know what the last seven minutes meant. But it left me with something to smile about.i plugged in my ear phones that I had got out from my bag seven minutes ago and got lost into my own thoughts as my favorite bettles number played in the background.