i have always been this person who believes that she has the ability to change her destiny..if there's something wrong written in my destiny i will change it..and i will always continue to belive so..i have always felt that you can control your life..that things will happen your way..
So on the first day of college i was pretty sure what i was there for.. it was the first time i was going to be around people who din't know me..where i could create a whole new world for myself..i knew exactly what and when i was going to do things..
It did start of pretty well.. But now after 3weeks i have a feeling that its not me who is controlling my life but its the other way round..life is making me say and do things it has in store for me.. without me even realizing..
i have in the past never been so conscious about what i am doing or how i behave.. recently i was making a genuine effort to set things right..
however it seems like that's not how its supposed to be..and the impatient me wants to ask questions.. wants to know how it actually works..!!
so who decides what you deserve?? who knows you better than yourself?? why do you often see people who deserve happiness in pain?? why should there be pain?? why cant a person decide how his/her life should be??
and the toughest question is: am i or anyone ever going to find answers to these questions?
or should i believe that the moment before one dies one finds the answers to all the questions?? but what if i want to know the answers now??
that means that my belief that i can control my life is faulty...right??