So agreed a huge part of me is a chick flick person, my most favorite films are the romantic ones. i love , love stories. even the one's as dumb as i hate love stories.
of course i am a full time romantic always looking around for love.
but relationships , well they FREAK me out.
why? because i believe in love!
and relationship's never much match up to those standards. which is where my love and in love theory comes into being.
so the theory states "you may love lots of people in your lifetime , but you fall "in" love with just one"
yeah it is. i have learnt this after being in more than 5 full time relationships(it is quite like i a job) and many more complicated one's which i never even wanted to start!
no i am definitely not bragging, i wish i had one really really really meaningful one instead. (or maybe not , considering how much each relationship has taught me)
"something meaningful existed in all of these relationship's, so what was missing?"
is the thought from where this entire post came into existence!
after a lot of thought i came to no conclusion or no definite answer, but yeah i did get a rough idea, the issue was not about what was lagging, it was about how i never really fell in love.
people come to us. they become important , we think we can't live without them , we imagine ourselves with them and after sometime they are no more that important. we no more need them. someone else takes their place. and life moves on.
we miss them , smile when we think about them,maybe a tear or two, feel jealous of the person who is with them now, but we never want to go back to it (atleast i have never wanted to go back to anyone of them)
vaishnavi always tells me how i am being a bitch and cant decide on that one person , but its not what i cant do , its what i don't want to do.
i don't want to bet i am going to spend the rest of my life with anyone i am with right now. because i am not in love with anyone.
no one makes me feel on top of the world irrespective of what they do for me, no one makes the wind blow and no one rings bells (though a lot of butterflies have made a permanent place in my stomach and start to fly frantically at the sight of a lot many guys) , no one makes me wish for them when i pray, no one kisses me to make my leg toss up , no one knows without me telling and etc etc.
maybe the issue is that i take love stories too seriously,but i believe that i will find a person(or more than one) who will make me feel like that.
not that i regret being with anyone i have , but i have definitely understood that now or not even in the near future is love going to come knocking my door. i am not prepared for it , and i cant imagine losing it!
P.S but what i do look forward to is a good long vacation, which i doubt is going to be possible in the next three years of SIMC. however we are going to panchagani for a week from college , sounds interesting huh?! Not really..