Saturday, December 10, 2011

Lying awake!

She sat on the edge. The very edge. On an ordinary day that would be a scary feeling. But today she didn’t seem to even realize that, a slight shift and she could be falling down from her 2nd floor balcony landing straight on her cranky neighbor’s old Maruti Zen. It was ten past five in the morning when she looked at the clock. It had been nearly 5 hours she since saw the clock last. What had she been doing all this while? She couldn’t recall. Was she really going to take this decision, she thought. Now it was too late to change it anyway. It was all too confusing for her. She wasn’t really sure about anyone anymore. She wasn’t sure about herself to start with. In a few more hours her dad would be up for his morning walk. Seeing her out of bed at this time of the hour would invite unnecessary attention. “I should go back to bed”, she thought aloud. Her ears almost hurt, now that the long silence had been broken. She heard her brother shifting in his bed. She couldn’t see. It was dark still. She didn’t care about lighting up the room. It wouldn’t make a difference. She hit the bed and lay there for a long time.

The year had been eventful. No! Saying that wouldn’t do justice. It had been extravagant. So much had come and gone. Not that life had ever been boring earlier really, it had always been a mess and fun and some more mess. But this year was going down in the books. It had to. Or wait, this year wasn’t a chapter; it was like those little complimentary books along with the main book, always more colorful and interesting but small and quick. This thought made her smile. She thought about the year in a quick fashion. Images!

20 days away from new years and she knew it was time to shut the book and never open it again. The time to keep this little piece away was here. It was time to go back to the purpose, go back to THE book.

Something was happening now. She lay straight, she turned left, and she turned right. Something was wrong. She wouldn’t dare open her eyes. Was she imagining it or was it real? She shut her eyes tight. She felt like a 2 year old. She wanted to run to her mom. Something was going to strangle her, she had to get up. It was going to hurt her. Now!

Wait it was too late. She was squeezed under it already. She lay there. What was this burden laying so comfortably over her? It wasn’t painful; it was just making it difficult for her to breathe. She wanted to get up. But strength and will both were insufficient. This was unnatural but surprisingly she was getting used to the predicament faster than she thought.

After what seemed like ages she thought she felt like she was ready to sleep under all this. At least tonight. At least for the next 20 days. Being uncomfortable and sleepless would have to last for some more time. She was going to let it hurt till a few more days. And then with the New Year she is going back to her story. She had sidetracked but she won’t do it again, she was sure. But for now the discomfort was too sweet. She had almost got friendly with it within minutes.

She turned around, pulled the sheets over her, yawned and wished that tonight disturbing dreams would not haunt her. Tomorrow morning would start the last chapter of this Year.

P.s So much for a first attempt!

*tuned into- almost lover

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